Wednesday, February 4, 2009

What's the blog deal?

I am sad today. My Jacky-boy has a loose tooth. It's so funny how my perspective changes with each child. With my oldest, Jacey, I was thrilled with each new milestone. Always so excited to see what she would do next. It was so amazing to see her do new things that she couldn't do before and to brag to anyone who would listen about her new feat! Now she is just old enough that I look back at pictures with regret. Wishing I could have that moment back and that I hadn't rushed her quite so much. I hate that I so often wish that I could have done things differently.

With Jackson it was much different. First he is a completely different person than Jacey. He let me know right off the bat that he was going to be calling the shots and I had to gently mold him to avoid wrath! My regrets from my first-born helped me to just let him be and laugh, rather than stress out about the next milestone. So now instead of a loose tooth being exciting, it is heart breaking. I know that a season is ending and I will never have it back. The days are fast approaching when the baby fat will fade, his smile will change, his chubby hands and feet which I love so much will become bigger and stronger. God forbid the day will come when he doesn't want to hug and kiss me and I am no longer the prettiest woman in his life. Don't get me wrong I know I will celebrate all the great things that happen to him and the man he will become, but it will hurt when I am not the one he wants to marry anymore. :)

This blog really did not have much of a purpose...just a mother's mourning. Probably not rational, but painful nonetheless!

1 comment:

Ames said...

okay... that first picture at the end of the blog was hilarious :) awww... jack's growing up!