This year feels different to me. I am not holding myself to as high of a standard as I have in the past. Usually I have a long list of resolutions. Things I am gonna change, things I am gonna conquer, things I am gonna do. The sad thing is my list is usually the same year after year. This year I am gonna give myself permission to fail and hopefully that will free my heart of expectations of those around me.
If there is anything I have learned is I can't do it. Marleen does not have what it takes to "positive think" my way into being a better person. What I have also learned is sometimes what I envision for myself is not what is best for me. I have wasted time on so many resolutions that were not God's will. They sure sounded pretty. I could even make them sound noble and put a "godly" spin on them. Sadly, in reality, too many time they were about me, not about Him!
So this year my resolution is simple. Draw close to Him. Listen and obey in the moment. Let Him have His way.
All my striving has never sped up a season God wanted me to go through. Wanting to change has never made me change. The only time I have truly seen change has been when I have surrendered to His process. His process usually takes time. I have seen the greatest change when I finally stop the excuses and the pity parties and just say YES to what he is asking of me IN THE MOMENT. Not saying yes to everything that sounds noble, but just being obedient in the moment. Surrendering my own will for His. I have found that He truly does know what is best for me.
So there it is, enough wasted moments. Enough condemnation because my own expectations of myself are too high. This year I will rest in Him and trust that He who led me to himself will also lead me to victory.
Verses of the year:
1 Samuel 15: 21-23