lady lighthouse

Blogging Smoke...Marijuana that is.

2011-08-29T14:38:00.000-07:00

So apparently the learning and stretching is never finished. Anytime I think God has taught me the skills I need it seems He likes to shake things up to show me how much more I need to learn and just how dependent I am on him.
Right now God has me homeschooling 4 children. 1 is a 3 year old, 1 is a "picture thinker", 1 is way smarter than me, and 1 is a...TEENAGER!
This sweet teenager is not my daughter, but she is a wonderful girl full of potential and talent. There is only one problem. I don't know if SHE believes that. Otherwise why oh why would she so desperately want things that are only going to hinder her, hurt her, and scar her. Why do some teenagers (and even adults) do what is mentioned in the Bible as a "dog returning to it's own vomit". Like a Hobbit wanting it's second breakfasts, but the meal is so unappetizing...try telling that to a dog. The thing is most the things dog eat aren't that appetizing to begin with so vomit seems like a viable snack. After all will their owners feed them again if they don't eat it or will they have to suffer with an empty stomach?
Could this be one of the things that makes sin so enticing to us? Maybe at times we really think that it's the best we can get and that with out it we will be kept wanting. God help us have faith in your promises and especially in the promise of heaven so that would not greedily lap up vomit instead of waiting for the wedding feast. It makes me sad to think how often young girls (and boys) give them self away and put themselves in dangerous situations because those things represent love, maturity, and control to them. I used to be that girl. I will regret it forever.
My prayer is that God will help me teach this teen about His love and promises. That her standards would get higher and higher and that she would have a fulfilling life without regret. Any ideas on how to do this?

Blog Business

2011-08-28T20:13:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to make a little post to celebrate to day. It has officially been one month since I opened my etsy store. I have sold 17 items! I am also working with a couple brides on custom guest books. It has been a lot of fun and a lot of work. Here are some of my new listings.

Blog Business- New Journals

2011-08-19T13:21:00.000-07:00

I have added new products to my etsy store! Some of my faves are below. It has been so much fun opening this store. I have sold 10 items this month. 2 of them were to people who live indifferent countries which is so fun. Even though it takes A LOT of time it a blessing to be supplementing our income while at home, while doing something I love! Keep in mind that I really enjoy doing custom orders. I have done 2 so far!

Check out my store to see more items and each item in more detail. :)

Shabbyscrap

Blogaroos!

2011-08-15T12:34:00.000-07:00

Homeschooling started last week. Every night I was completely exhausted. I am teaching a Freshman in high school, a gifted 10 year old, a 7 year old with dyslexia, and a 3 year old. The first week was pretty overwhelming!

Here are some of the games I am playing with my 3 year old and 7 year old. Planting seeds in the toddler, while reviewing and strengthening the mental pictures for my 7 year old picture thinker!

Bendaroo letters:

Everyday we are using Bendaroos and the boys are layering them on top of letters I have written. We do the letters that my older son is having troubles with visually and the new letter sounds my 3 year old is learning.

Today were the sounds MMMMM and SSSSS, along with recognizing the difference between b and d, and reviewing n and y.

This has been working great because it helps my preschooler with dexterity and the lets my picture thinker use his hands. They can run their fingers over the finished letters which also helps stimulate the brain to remember. Then they get some free time to build whatever they want with their bendaroos. :)

The next game we play is Sight Word Search:

I write sight words on index cards with crayons. Again I use the crayon because it has a texture that my dyslexic son can trace with his finger to help with the memory of it. They say the words out loud, trace it. My 7 year old also enjoys closing his eyes and trying to write it in the air.

I have 2 of each index card and then I hide all the words around the room. The kids go in search of their cards. When they find one they have to shout out the word. They love this and often want to play it several times. It really is helping both of them with their sight words!

So much BLOGGER than me!! PART 4

2011-08-15T12:10:00.000-07:00

Okay as for what I learned thru a dark time of rejection and false accusations...

Number 1 was TO LISTEN. (To God, my husband, and those trusted friends God has placed in my life.)

2. Psalm 19:14

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

I was being (somewhat) careful with the things I was saying, but the things I were thinking were not healthy! I was dwelling on hurts, closed doors, rejections, fears and being consumed by them. I did see that somehow my thoughts and emotions were not adding up with my reality, but until I reread that verse I could not figure out why. Instead of focusing on who God says He is and all the many blessings in my life I just kept focusing on the few things that were going wrong.

3. Perfection doesn't change anything.
After the church closed I decided deep down inside that I would just be perfect so that nobody would ever dislike me again. You can imagine how well that went! Not only am I completely perfect at being imperfect, but no matter what you do you cannot please everyone all the time. Some people will dislike for serving too much, some people will dislike you for not serving where they think you should serve. Some people will even dislike you because your hair is the wrong color or you are the wrong race. I cannot control if people "like" me. Also it becomes a dangerous trap because you cannot please people and please God at the same time. I have to focus on obedience and let the chips fall!

4. Finally the verse that broke me out of my pity party and gave me a ton of perspective...

"Blessed is the man who does not fall away on account of me."
Matthew 11:6

My Pastor spoke an amazing message on this and Matthew 11:6 just JUMPED out at me. Jesus spoke these words in an answer to John the Baptist who was in prison and going to be beheaded. John the Baptist asked if Jesus truly was the Messiah. Maybe he had his doubts because his situation looked so bad.
I realized that I was allowing my circumstances to cause me to stumble. Somehow I had bought into the lie that every problem in my life could be fixed if I was "good enough" for God to bless me. When all these trials came on the heels of a season when I had worked really hard to bless God and others I was confused and really started to buy into the condemnation that I would never be "good" enough and that maybe God had forgotten me or just wasn't all that fond of me.
This verse is a good reminder that when we face trials to rejoice. We are in good company. God's chosen in the Bible went through testings of thier faith time and time again.

So I coming through on the other side. Trusting my Jesus, asking him to help me trust people after some of the things that have happened. I am excited to see all I have learned when I truly get to the other side of this season. :)

So much BLOGGER than me!! PART 3

2011-08-15T12:01:00.001-07:00

Okay...sorry my ADD has gotten the best of me! Here is Part 3 as promised.

So as I said it has been a rough Summer. I really felt misunderstood, I felt rejected. I also have been dealing with a diagnosis of dyslexia in my 7 year old son. It is actually a huge relief for both of us to know what is happening because now we can tailor all lessons to his needs. But, it did take a few weeks for me to just digest it all and prep myself to teach him.

A few things have been made very clear to me as I have gone through all of this.

1. I need to just listen.

God has been speaking very clearly to me as everything started to unwind. First he used my husband who continually kept saying that God was calling me to slow down. I just reasoned that God was calling him to slow down and he needed to butt out. (Oops, did I just say that???) In reality he had a perspective that I didn't. He had been praying for me and felt something and I didn't listen.

I also have refused to really listen to what God has been saying to me. When I didn't slow down the doors started closing and instead of trusting I took it personally. Yet God knows what is going to happen. He said "No" to a few things, like a missions trip I had been wanting to go on because He knew that I was going to be asked to go back to NY twice this Summer. The NY trips were such a bright spot during this time because GOd used me in my giftings, used me to encourage some great friends, and used my great friends to ENCOURAGE me. These trips were refreshing, convicting and just what I needed.

He also knew that I was going to find about the dyslexia and homeschool a teenager and that it would be a lot more draining and I wouldn't be able to keep the same pace...I took it as rejection, but really it was PROTECTION!

Number 2 and 3 tomorrow!

So much BLOGGER than me!! PART 2

2011-08-08T08:32:00.000-07:00

Okay, so where was I? Ah yes, going on and on about how much this Summer well...sucked. What? It did! ;) But, I have been a Christian long enough to know that it is often the really difficult seasons of life that end up being the most cherished. Take childbirth for example. ( I know that's kind of cliche...) Definitely not something I would willingly revisit for anything OTHER than an adorable baby.
I remember vividly one afternoon in June. It was a day that came with great expectation. I wanted that baby out. In fact I had wanted that baby out for the last 2 months of my pregnancy. I had dragged my husband all over Brooklyn every night because I had heard somewhere that walking could induce pregnancy. So we walked, and we walked, and we walked. Usually about 80 blocks every night. Walking 80 blocks in Brooklyn can get very interesting. One night I even made my husband go bowling at 11PM because I had heard that bowling worked for some other woman. Yes, it's safe to say that I had completely and totally lost my mind. An OF COURSE, the baby came 2 weeks LATE.
Okay, talk about a rabbit trail...so the day finally came. The Dr. decided to induce me an after 10 hours the time was finally drawing near. Yet, it wasn't quite what I expected. I knew it was gonna hurt, but I was prepare for the downright horrible, awkward feeling of well, (in an attempt not to get too graphic) THAT! At one point I begged the Doctor to let me take a break and go in the bathroom.
My husband followed me in and I looked at him pitifully and said "Honey, I can't do this."
He looked back at me with a look I had never seen on his face before and replied, "I KNOW! You can't!" (Poor fellow was pretty traumatized at that point.)
Anyway, all that to say childbirth is really difficult. Even my husband thought so and he didn't have to feel what I felt. Yet, my greatest treasures all came from that experience. Other things in my life that have been really hard (moving to NY at 19 alone, church planting, homeschooling, being a woman) always end up being the things that shape me into the person I truly want to be. It is very uncomfortable, but I wouldn't trade the pain now that I know what it PRODUCED.

Okay so this post totally went another direction so stay tuned for Part 3, where I will hopefully be able to stay on point and wrap it up! :)

So much BLOGGER than me!! PART 1

2011-08-07T16:14:00.000-07:00

So I have had such an interesting Summer. It has been filled to the brim with pain, hurt, revelations, repentance, and blessings. It is one of those times where I am clearly walking in the valley and try as I might I CANNOT see what is on the other side of the mountains all around.
It all began in the Spring, usually a time of new beginnings and life, but for me God decided it was the perfect time to call me to death. He saw that I was carrying some very unhealthy things around deep inside. In fact one day I was praying and I saw a clear vision of a person who had been wounded. It was just a little scratch, or a cut that could be bound up with stitches...no, it was a deep, festering wound that ran up the entire side of someone's body.
I was shocked when I saw it because I thought "Lord, there is no way someone could live with a wound like that. Who is it? Who can I pray for?"
I heard that still, small voice whisper, "It's you."
God spent the Spring showing me some of the things I had been carrying around since childhood. One was a deep seated fear rejection, another was perfectionism. It was amazing the relief and power I felt at just being able to NAME some of the things that had plagued me. I started to get amazing revelations of God's love (something that had eluded me before because I always truly felt I had to EARN his love.) God also gave me the grace to truly forgive some of the people I felt hurt the most by and a huge burden was lifted.
Then Winter came...right in the middle of Summer. Now that I had identified my struggles it seemed that God was going to allow me to face them head on and learn to view them differently. First He dealt with "perceived rejection". You know when you feel like someone doesn't like you or want you. It was a little messy, but easier to deal with because I saw needed to adjust my thinking. My Pastor always says "believe people like you until they tell you otherwise." It was amazing how I bought into the enemies lies over very small things and could become convinced that someone didn't see my worth. I was thankful for the revelation..."Ahh, now I am ready to be used Lord. I have learned my lesson!!"
Not so fast, then I had to face REAL rejection. Ouch, this one was a lot harder! It came from all directions. Never in my life have I felt so hemmed in and misunderstood. I was surprised how I reacted. I shut down. I just wanted to hide away. Ms."Involved in everything" didn't even want to go to church. This exposed a lot of the perfectionism and how I need to be needed. Before I could even totally swallow that lesson, it went deeper.
It went past rejection, it went past the whispers of condemnation the enemy was haunting me with. Next came finding out I was slandered by someone I hold very dear. Then the phone call where I was falsely accused some horrible things. I can still hear the voice on the other end of the line calling me racist and actually using some of the things I have done solely to try to bless a family as evil.
All of sudden I understood the feeling of wanting to run, to never trust, to build up walls, of maybe even (GASP) "forsaking the assembly of the believers." (Or not going to church anymore.)

Part 2 COMING SOON. (How's that for a cliffhanger!)

Check out my new etsy store

2011-08-05T15:08:00.000-07:00

At the request of a lot of my friends I started an etsy shop.
You can check it out here!

Here are some pics of the types of things I will be selling. Mostly journals, devotionals, artwork, chipboard albums, and some handmade supplies.

Smorgablog 3

2011-07-12T11:14:00.000-07:00

Micah and Grace keep jumping in the baby pool yelling "candy ball!!!". I tried to tell them it was "cannon ball". Micah said "cannon ball??? Yuck!!!". And Grace just looked at me like I was nuts and jumped back in yelling "Candy Baaaaaallll!!!" lol July 8th 2011

Ummmmm Micah just called my bra "boobie goggles" July 5th 2011

Me: "Hey Jack, what do you think you want to wear to the wedding?"
Jack: "Well, I was thinking a tux."
Me: "Oh that would be nice, but it's an outdoor wedding. I think it's pretty casual."
Jack: "Alright then, I guess a nice sweater vest, or maybe my han solo shirt." June 9th 2011

My favorite days can never be planned, they come out of nowhere. Today makes the list, a long walk with the kids on a wooded trail that included a mishap with concrete, tormenting roly polies, a picnik, floating boats in a creek and a discovery of a rope swing over the creek. Fun for hours. :) I love my kids. :) June 2nd 2011

Jacey and I just walked thru a giant thing of wet concrete by accident!!!! June 2nd 2011

Overheard:
Jacey "I think that guys makes fun of his brother because he was made fun of when he was little."
Jack "Ackward, He's passing on his pain." June 1st 2011

"I weally like Caterpickles" Micah. I think he meant caterpillars... May 13th 2011

Having fun playing with our pet "raps"as Micah calls them. May 11th 2011

So I have a little problem, Micah truly believes that Khalid Minkah Barnes is Jesus. He talks about Jesus all the time...Not sure how to explain that one to him!! May 9th 2011

When Tevye mentions Abraham from the bible in fiddler on the roof my 7 yr old jack asked me, "is he talking about Abraham Lincoln??!!" May 7th 2011

It is so cute that Jack is so obsessed with the Titanic. He draws elaborate pictures, builds the Tianic out of Legos. Spends ho urs trying to sink models in the bathtub. (My bathtub is constantly littered with rocks, bricks, papers lol. He even had me download the Titanic soundtrack so he can listen to it while he works on his stuff. It is very sad classical music! What is this??? :) April 21st 2011

Ahhh nothing better than falling into a cozy bed after a long day only to be peed on 5 minutes later..... April 16th 2011

so I am in TROUBLE! Micah took off his pants and pooped on the floor. I came to get him and said, "Micah Josiah!" Very sternly. He stared me down and said , "I'm KING Josiah!!" I gave him a look only moms can give and he sweetly said, "Your king Josiah???" April 5th 2011

So Josh has decided to become a crazy couponer...you know what that means...I have to become a crazy couponer... March 14 2011

Jack "Mom why do zombies wear business suits?"
Me "Well, Zombies are made up creatures, so they just wear whatever the person who made them up wants them to wear."
Jack "Well they mostly wear business suits and that creeps me out."

Then he proceeded show me how zombies dance which was completely hysterical..... March 11 2011

Slightly frightened myself when I looked in the mirror this morning. I bore a resemblance to Meatloaf...the rocker, not the food. March 9th 2011

Micah is such a naughty 2 year old. I tucked him into bed and then came downstairs to get some work done. I catch him a little while later in the living room playing trains. I told him to go back to bed and he said, "no, I'm busy!" Feb 21st 2011

Boys...Micah is playing trains and at 2 he is already infatuated with sending the trains careening off embankments and acting like all the people inside are screaming. What is that??? Feb 12 2011

Okay so I officially scarred my kids for life. I put on an animal documentary this morning. It started out all cute and sweet and then a male lion massacred a bunch of baby cubs. :( Feb 3rd 2011

What Jack learned in sunday school.
"God led them with a killer of fire and killer of smoke." Jan 30 2011

Conversation with Micah...
"Okay Micah, your gonna be wearing undies today. Where do you goo pee pee?"
"uhhh, I go pee pee in my buns!"
"No Micah, WHERE do you go peepee?"
"Ohhhh, my weiner!!"
"yes, that's where it come from where does it GO??"
"the potty?" Jan 29th 2011

Sweet 2 year old Micah was so concerned about me last night. He refused to sleep he just rubbed my arm and back while I was throwing up. I love my kids. Jan 11 2011

The theme song to the office came on and Jack said,"I love this song, it's catchy." Jan 1 2011

"My hips aren't feeling on the bright side." Jack :) Dec 28 2010

"God is good. Good is good. Good is great." Jacey Carroll age 2 Dec 2 2010

Give my regards to Blogway!

2011-07-07T14:11:00.000-07:00

2 weeks ago I got to go to NY to reprise a role I performed 6 years ago. In fact it was the very last role I played before my husband and I and our children moved to CO to church plant. It was an amazing week and it was so nice to get away. I am so blessed with my 3 kiddos and all their sweet friends that spend time with us, but I was in desperate need of some quiet. I felt like I had such a weight on my shoulders and was having a very hard time seeing clearly. God met me, challenged me, encouraged me, and blessed me greatly on the trip. I came back renewed in my passion to be a good mom and wife, and in the quiet got a lot of confirmation about things I have been praying over.
I love the quote "sometimes the godliest thing you can do is take a day off!"

Don't feed the blog at the table...

2011-07-05T08:49:00.001-07:00

A few days ago Josh and I got a flyer in the mail for The Lighthouse...it was kind of surreal seeing that name again a year after the church closed. I checked out the site and found a blog by the Pastor that really ministered to me to day so I want to share it.

Check it out here.

The main point of the blog is that sometimes we get hyper focused on the creation and not our Creator, or that we get so tunnel visioned that we start seeing way to small.

In the blog he talk about how when he tries to feed his dogs sometimes they don't see where he threw the food. Instead they just keep licking his fingers instead of letting the finger point them to the thing that is truly good!
Talk about conviction, that is ME lately. I have been hyper focused on the desires of my heart and not on my Savior. I am looking for some sort of instant gratification and instead keep coming up disappointed because I am looking in the wrong place. It seems like such an easy concept to grasp, but it is amazing how quickly I have warped a God given desire into an idol. Forgive me Lord!
Last January while sitting in a worship service God poured out vision into me. He showed me the next steps for the Creator's Stage and He has opened up doors to confirm those things. Yet 7 months later I have been stewing in frustration because instead of staying at the place where the vision came (a place of waiting on Him, a place of surrender, a place of fellowship with my Jesus) I started to worship the VISION or the calling and wanted that to satisfy me which it never will.
Anyway, I wanted to share all this in case anyone else needed that reminder today. I am so thankful for a merciful God!

'S

Love Blogs Part 1 of 2

2011-06-13T18:08:00.000-07:00

This weekend I had the honor of decorating for a good friends wedding. After weeks of crafting I was happy with the result. It was cozy, fun and relaxed like they said they wanted. We went with a bird theme. The florist strung daisies and used sticks with flowers in the buckets I provided for the center pieces. It was a lot of work, but Laura and Nathan are SO worth it! <3

These are a few pics I grabbed with my iphone. Can't wait to see the professional pics. :)

My daughter was the flower girl. :)

Love Blogs- Part 2 of 2

2011-06-13T18:04:00.000-07:00

The bride and groom requested cards be hung on a clothesline for people to give their regards. I ripped, inked, and stamped each card with a little bird. they were very cute all hung up, with bunting, clothes pins and fabric.

Blog happy family

2011-06-12T17:55:00.000-07:00

Just blogging me...

2011-06-12T17:14:00.000-07:00

Some things I know for sure...

That I can never put God in a box. He has shattered my absolutes time and time again!
A messy life is a full life! I may have a messy house, but that's because my doors are always open. Kids running in and out, bbq's with friends, crafting projects for those I love, costumes lying on the floor for an outreach...it can get annoying, but it's so worth it. On top of that the more you love, the more friends you have, the more you open your heart the messier things get. People make messes, it's just a fact of life, but the messes are worthwhile because in the midst of the mess are huge blessings!!
Hard work is worth it. The more I lay down my boundries and allow myself to be stretched the more I love life. Sure I have meltdowns when the nights are late and the to-do list gets loooong, but God is worth my energy and so are the people in my life! The end result always ends up being worth it. The Bible says the greatest of all is the servant of all. I am never more miserable than when I am only thinking of me!!!
It is impossible to serve God without serving people. There was a time in my life where I was very concerned with the process, the plan, and the outcome and not so much with the PEOPLE. Duh. ;) God has slowly and gently changed my heart in this area and I am thankful to more fully understand His love for each and every one of his creation. It is very easy to be a great Christian in your bedroom, not so easy when you need to let go of some of your own desires, bite your tongue, compromise, trust, let others have what you wanted, and love.
Repent and forgive daily! :)

blog of the impossible

2011-02-17T11:06:00.000-08:00

Listening to this song today and believing God for big things. I praying for Joanne Heim for the Simple Wife blog and believing for her COMPLETE healing, I am lifting up Lara Logan who suffered a horrendous attack in Egypt and asking God to be her comfort, her healer, and her Saviour.

I read here a wonderful blog assembled by "Single Dad Laughing", he just asked people to share the impossibly miraculous things that have happened to them. As you read thru the list of healings, provision, and answered prayers you remember (or at least I did) that we serve the God of the impossible!

After some disappointment in the last few years I have been afraid to trust God with big things. Lately He has been stirring my heart to step out again, to trust again, to believe again. We have been praying for big things in our prayer small group, asking for miracles, and seeing them begin to happen. We have been seeing revival and open doors.

God has also been asking me to plan the future again. Not according to my resources, but planning according to what He is putting on my heart. You know it doesn't have to make sense.

Even as I hear peoples stories of disappointment. Families falling apart, pain, failure...a still small voice in my heart says, "Believe!!!" Let's believe God can do it together! He can save our family members that our lost, He can set us free from bondage, use us, provide for us, help us fight when the attacks are exhausting.

If you have been in a place of retreating from the battle. You have held up the white flag of surrender, but it's not pointed at God. You are waving it at the world and the enemy because you have felt to tired to fight and believe anymore. I am praying for you today. Let's get back in the race, let's get back in the battle. Let's believe the God of the impossible to restore, give us vision, and strength. Then, let's go!!!

But, let's not try to do it on our own. It is not our strength, but His power that will help us overcome. I am handing Him control. Every time I feel scared, every time I feel disappointed I keep visualizing a box that holds my issue inside. I hand that box back to God and say, "Only you can do it God. I trust you." I am going to believe HIM for big things and not try to do it myself.

blogging my head against a wall

2011-02-03T01:19:00.000-08:00

Before I got married I lived in a little apartment on 46th street in Brooklyn. I lived above a family from the church I was attending, but it wasn't a great neighborhood. In this apartment I felt a little like Snow White, there were always tons of critters to keep me company. Giant brown water bugs, mice, once a squirrel even burrowed it's way in from outside. Right thru the ceiling. It just scratched and scratched and scratched until one day I walk in and a giant squirrel is staring at me, chewing on some insulation.

Well, one morning, really early, I heard banging coming from the stairway leading up to the roof. What could it be? My first thoughts, of course, were that surely it was a murderer or rapist. But the banging continued at a steady pace, so I started to believe it was a rabid beast...in the middle of Brooklyn. (Hey, your mind runs away with you when you live alone in Sunset Park.)

After about 10 minutes the steady banging finally stopped, about 10 minutes after that I finally got the courage to investigate. When I opened the door I found a heart breaking sight. A little bird had gotten trapped in the stairway that led up to the attic. Frantically trying to get out, it had banged it's little head against the door over and over again until it's tragic death. I felt terrible that I had been to afraid to open the door and rescue it.

Yesterday I was thinking about that little bird and a thought occurred to me. How often as Christians are we like that bird? We bang our head repeatedly against a door that is clearly closed and we end up a bloody, mangled mess, rather than waiting for the only one that can open it.

Revelation 3:7b

What he opens, no one can close;
and what he closes, no one can open

Unlike me, the Lord has no fear, no ulterior motives. The only reason he will not open a door is because is it NOT RIGHT. Maybe not the right timing, maybe it leads to destruction, maybe it will keep us from a better door, maybe it is someone else's door to walk through.

One of my favorite verses is Proverbs 3:5&6.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

How many times am I guilty of taking my life back into my own hands. God purchased my life with the blood of His son and yet I feel like I can't trust Him with every part of my life. That blood should be a constant reminder for us that He cares and that as carefully as He made a way for us to draw near to Him, He will make a way for our dreams and desires. We can trust Him! We can lean on Him and rely on Him. When the door doesn't open it is for a reason. I need to learn to pray through the closed doors instead of frantically searching for a way out. I need to be able to fight my ADHD, Type A-ness, Control freak and just wait.

Isaiah 40:31

But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.

They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.

They will walk and not faint.

God help me. I want to soar like an eagle, not perish like the little bird so determined to open that door by itself.

Lights, Camera, BLOG!

2011-01-14T01:47:00.000-08:00

Last night I was lying in bed, with my three kiddos cuddling up around me, and my mind began to drift. I found myself have a deep, intellectual conversation with... well... myself.
It started when I thought about an amazing Christian woman I know. She can sing like no one else and loves to dress up when she does it. I overheard someone say recently that this woman was to "performancy". I have heard that many times from Christians. They go to church hope for a deep worship experience and they feel like they sat thru a show instead of engaging. I am sure I have even said it myself.

I began to wonder what makes a Christian musician, singer, actor, etc come off too "performancy". It shouldn't be because they got dressed up, or because the band was amazing, or because there was incredible light show. It shouldn't be because it looked professional or polished. God is worthy of all those things. God deserves the very best of our talent and that is represented in the rehearsal time and the creativity. There are amazing lights because someone felt inspired to do that. The band was amazing because they put the time into their craft to be amazing! I think what people are actually feeling when they use the "p" word is a disconnect. Maybe they don't feel like the person they are watching has a heart that engaged to what God wants to do in the moment or maybe they themselves cannot engage.

I think that may be our real problem. How do we engage and help those we are trying to minister to engage. I have written and directed many Christian plays over the last 10 years and I am sure those closest to me get tired of hearing me say over and over. I don't want anything that I spend the church's (God's) resources on to be like an art house flick. Meaning, I don't want people to be able to spend hours discussing what the message might have been or what we might have meant. Or worse have them not care or not be touched! I want the message to be crystal clear. And if people are going to talk afterwards I want them to spend hours talking about God! I want every heart, from every background to UNDERSTAND the message. If people come to something that volunteers have spent hours rehearsing and a lot of God's money has been spent I feel it would be a shame if they weren't quite sure what we meant or what the message was. I want people to engage!

I believe the same goes for worship leaders and worship bands. I think sometimes we have to simplify so that every person in the congregation can truly engage. There's that word again. I don't mean engage in the over head projector because there are so many words or engage in the worship leader because that leader is singing so fancy or switching so many octaves that no one can sing along. I mean engage their hearts. Worship leaders are called as such because God has allowed them to carry the Holy mantle of leading His people to worship Him. And what a mantle it is. Time and time again praise is used in the Bible. In fact praise is mentioned more than prayer! Praise brought down the wall of Jericho. Praise is what God says he INHABITS. And that is just what the people coming to church on Sunday need. Every single week. They need God, they need His Spirit, and they need victory. Is this where we are leading them?

This brings me to the second part. And that is, making sure that if we are going to serve God in a creative way and put His message out there we need to make sure we are sensitive to Him and what He is saying. It is a fine balance. The Bible says play skillfully unto the Lord ,so yes, we should rehearse, we should brainstorm, we should pray, be polished, be good, be brilliant, and creative! We should work on what God has given us to serve Him. It so exciting! With Him who knows what we can do, who we can touch. We can write amazing songs, lead powerful services, put on mind blowing dramas, and see lives changed! The possibilities are endless. But only if we are going were He is going. If we try to hard to steer the ship we are in a losing battle.

So after the long hours of rehearsal, after the well thought out plan we have to step into whatever God calls us to do with an open hand...LISTENING. If He wants to change the song, change it. If He wants to sing the chorus 15 times, sing it and watch lives be changed. If he wants you to be quiet, be quiet and hear Him speak. Your faithfulness along with His annointing will make you unstoppable!

make beblogging

2011-01-12T10:21:00.000-08:00

Here is a Youth Group Room I am daydreaming I could do for my church. Click on the image to see the full room.

olioblog :)

2011-01-12T08:20:00.000-08:00

I absolutely love, love, love this site I just found. It is called Olioboard.com. You can design rooms however you want. Oh it is such a dangerous time waster for me!! (Although I need creative outlets to stay sane as a homeschooling mom of three!) Above is my dream bedroom. Below a living room. If you join Olioboard my screen name is joshandmar, so please let's connect on there! P.S. You have to click on the picture to get the whole view. :)

Amazing Grace

2011-01-02T11:55:00.001-08:00

I witnessed a beautiful thing today. Today at church was bitter sweet. So sweet because God's presence was there encouraging us for all He had in store for 2011, yet bitter because one of our dear sisters in the Lord was having to face the horrible reality that her father had passed away only a few days ago. To compound that pain she discovered him and only got to know him for a short 4 years before his passing.

This godly woman's heart is aching yet she help to lead us all in worship this morning which I know pleased God's heart so much and we could feel God's presence all around as she lifted Him up in spite of her pain. What an amazing testimony of His grace!

I heard a story once of a woman who had lost her child. She was overwhelmed with horrible grief and just trying to make it thru another day. When she couldn't stand the pain anymore she fell to her knees and begged God for the grace He had promised in His word. When she looked up she saw a tapestry on the wall that said, "My grace IS sufficient." Not that it will be but that it is. It is already done. He is working things out that we cannot see or understand and He is with us thru it all.

This morning I couldn't help but think that as we hold onto to our faith in Him, and truly trust that He works ALL things for good, He can truly make beauty from ashes. Our pain will always have a seed of hope.

That thought was confirmed when the church began to pray over this woman who had lost her father. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a little figure making their way to front of the sanctuary. It was an autistic girl from our congregation who does not like to touch anyone or to have anyone touch her. I was curious to see what would happen because never know, but she went straight over to the woman we were praying for and laid her hand on her arm. She stood there as we prayed over her to comfort her. This little girl has also experienced the loss of her father in a much different way. It was clear God had told her to go. When the prayer ended she headed back to her seat and told her mom she felt she had to do it.

It was the most beautiful thing to see. Our God speaks the language of the heart. We can hear Him thru pain, illness, loss, even autism. And though both these girl's have lost their earthly father's they will never lose their heavenly Father and His grace is sufficient.

Operation Blogkini body

2011-01-01T19:48:00.000-08:00

Okay, okay so I know it's not original or anything, but today I started a new diet. I am doing Tracy Anderson's 30 day method. I really need to lose weight and my husband has offered me some great motivational tools to do so. He told me that if I reach my pre-pregnancy weight he would take me on a cruise!

It is sad day when I have to admit to myself that Micah will be THREE in April and I am still carrying around a lot of extra weight. I can no longer call it baby weight!! It is just weight! With both my other kids I got the weight off right away, but I have been in such a different emotional and mental place since Micah was born. First off we were church planting so I was very busy and it could be very stressful. But, I think even more I was serving in so many different ways that for the first time in my life I wasn't finding my identity in my looks.

I struggled with an eating disorder for many years. In high school I was a bigger girl and my senior year I went a huge diet because I was hoping for the lead in the school musical. :) I lost a ton of weight and all of sudden I was getting everything I had ever dreamed of getting. I did get the lead in the play, but I also got a lot of praise and attention. I was asked out by guys I had daydreamed about for years. This time planted a seed in my mind that I needed to be skinny to be loved. It put me on an emotional roller coaster filled with not eating for days at a time, being afraid to eat in front of people, taking diet pills, destroying my food, and not even being able to run to the grocery store for my mom because I didn't want anyone to think I was going to eat that food! Sometimes I would get to a healthier place and eat normally, but as soon as I would gain weight I would go right back to my self destructive ways.

When I became I Christian God started the long process of setting me free! I did start to live healthier physically and mentally, but I was always haunted deep inside by the feeling that I was too fat and that it would cause me not to be lovable.

Fast forward to recent years. Micah was born and I couldn't find that drive within me do everything I had done in the past to lose the weight. It one way it truly was a blessing because it meant I was free from believing that I couldn't be lovable or usable unless I came in a certain package. I no longer felt I had to hide away at home until I got off the weight.

In recent days though I feel like maybe I have gone to far the other way. Being so grateful for God's grace that I am overindulging and not making healthy choices. I need to find a balance so that I can be a good role model for my family. HEALTHY. Skinny does not equal healthy I know that all too well. It is similar to the battle most Christians have to fight to find the right balance between legalism and greasy grace. I have so often found my self on the far side of the spectrum instead of nestled in His will. So here I go...I plan on updated my blog with the progress to keep me accountable! In fact I plan on updated my blog a whole lot more period!

It's a blog, it's plane, it's a lie from the ENEMY!

2010-07-02T11:44:00.000-07:00

So I have been having a rough couple of weeks spiritually. Once the church closed I felt as though I was wandering around aimlessly. For so long EVERYTHING in my life revolved around church and for even longer than that I had felt church planting was my and my husband's calling. Although I knew it was so right for it to end (and it didn't even end badly it was just clear God was moving in another direction) I felt very empty inside. I started to see that my first love had diminished. It has been very difficult trying to get back to my first love. Truthfully I have been discouraged believing that I had made too many mistakes and that I needed to clean up some things in order to get back to the Lord.
Those feelings were confirmed when I read this verse:
“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? "I the LORD search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.”- Jeremiah 17:9-10
Instantly I began thinking self-destructive thoughts. Like "See Marleen God knows your heart and it must be pretty bad, you need to get your heart in the right place!"
In this midst of these thoughts the Lord brought back a memory to me. I was in my early 20's and a good friend had invited me to accompany her as she spoke at a women's retreat. She asked me to come as a prayer partener and a support to her. I was so excited and honored to be invited. Well the morning of our trip I could not find my ID anywhere. I was devastated. I thought for sure that the Lord had blocked the way because I was too wicked and didn't deserve to go. I believed that I would have brought down the trip because I wasn't spiritual enough. I called my friend who was waiting for me at the airport and tearfully told her I couldn't go. Thankfully she yelled into the phone, "Get over here and we will try to work it out!!!!" (This was pre 9-11) I asked my husband to put my birth certificate in my purse and got in a car service and got to the airport. I found out I could get onboard with just a birth certificate, but when I went to get it out of my purse it wasn't there! I called my husband frantically and he said he had accidentally taken it back out. Now certainly I wasn't going to go, but my friend was very patient and we decided to take a later flight. My husband rushed my birth certificate to the airport and finally we got to California. It ended up being an amazing trip in which God used my testimony to minister into the life of many women and we saw great transformations in that weekend.
Now that story is a benchmark in my heart. It reminds me not to condemn my self to quickly because God is rich in mercy.
As I prayed over that verse today asking God to reveal the wickedness in my heart He gave me another one...
1 John 1:9 (New International Version)
9If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
I am so thankful that I never have to get it all together in order for God to love me and use me. I am SO thankful that Jesus paved the way for me to be accepted fully by my heavenly Father. Today my prayer is "God forgive the wickedness in my heart!" He is the one who will purify me as I just confess. What a lie from our enemy when he tells us to get it together before we go to God!

blogging my mind

2010-06-21T17:45:00.000-07:00

I thought I would list some of the things that are inspiring me right now...

1. The sky. The Colorado sky is so beautful. I find it so peaceful to look at and I love God's color palette. I truly think it is one of the most beautiful of God's creation.

This happens to be the Bahamas sky...add in the ocean and it gets even better.

2. The Creator's Stage

3. silver shoes (they do match everything)

4. change

5. being who I was made to be

6. learning and relearning :)

7. late night brain storming seasons

8. being around people who are different from me

9. seeing my children learn...hearing new words from Micah, watching Jack learn to read, watching Jacey succeed. SO very rewarding!

10. karaoke :)

Smorgablog Part 3

2010-06-21T16:54:00.000-07:00

Below are the funny happenings around the Carroll household taken from Facebook status updates. I like to have them centralized so I can remember them later!

AWWW man! Micah learned to crawl out of the crib today and now a whole bottle of baby powder has been poured all over the carpet...

Jack regarding the cop who gave me a ticket "he must not be a Christian!" Lol

Jack got confused and asked me today what an"invertebrain" was...in stead of invertebrate.

speaking of poop...I truly hate it when Micah eats black beans.

Last day today...we are having such a wonderful time! Beaches, waaay to much food, but my favorite has to be seeing Josh get attacked by women during karaoke! He actually had some people throw money at him lol!! I can't wait to see my sweet kiddos!

"It's SPIIICCYYYY, but GOOOOOOOD" 2 year old Micah, while eating BBQ sauce. He's gonna take after his dad I believe.

Thinks it's so cool that Travis wall is teaching jacey dance today

Jack singing on the swing "God is the one who made everyyyyyyything, except soooome electronical thingssss! But he made the people who made those thiiiings!"

Grossest Bible verse ever! Job 10: 10-11 Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese, clothe me with skin and flesh and knit me together with bones and sinews?

Oh boy my kids are really loving April fools...so far Jacey has had the chicken pocks, ran into a wall, and Jack got a black eye and was poisoned by a juice box...it's gonna be a long day.

Jack's struggling with the concept of Heaven right now. He asked, "Are we going to get to do anything FUN there?" I said, "Well, we're going to be different kinds of beings so FUN things are going to be different from what we have now." He replied, "Wait. We're going to be beans - like the kind people eat?"

Homeschooling is such a blessing!it's working incredibly for our kids. Jack (while preparing to sneak up on his sister): "1,2,3,5...1,2,3,5."

Jack: "Can you find me something to watch on Netflix?" Dad: "How about Super Mario Brothers?" Jack: "Sure....now can you go and leave me in peace?"

for more go here

Hit by a blog

2010-03-29T19:00:00.000-07:00

The other day Micah ran out in the middle of the street. While I was busy taking pictures of him. I got the shot and looked up to see where he was and of course I freaked and ran to grab him.

I made me think about the times I have been upset because God has stopped my plans. I was going along feeling perfectly fine and then God takes my hand and leads me kicking and screaming in the other direction. I saw adventure, fun, and maybe even blessing, but God saw danger and asked me to step back to safety.

Even these last six months of living without a steady income was God pulling us back to a safe place. We were barreling down the path. Josh working full time, ministry up to our ears with church planting. We didn't realize it was a runaway train because it was all necessary. Or it least it felt like it was. When God asked us to stop and just rest in his arms for awhile it felt so scary. We rationalized it was because he was going to do something great in our ministry or call us somewhere else. (You see just like Micah we were looking for the next road to cross!) But in reality he just wanted us to hang out at home for awhile.

Now in hindsight as Josh returns to work and this season comes to an end. I see very clearly how much we needed a season of rest. The kids needed time with their dad, Josh needed to explore some things in himself, our marriage needed some TLC. You see 6 months ago we thought we were on an adventure and were content to keep plugging away, but God could see the destruction that could have come down the road.

It is so important as Christians that we listen to God's warnings. We can easily rationalize that God can "work out" a possibly dangerous situation because He is God. So we run ahead (and usually regret it.) Thankfully, His still, small voice is faithful to ask us to slow down or even stop when necessary. We can idealize things, but He is the way, the truth, and the life. He truly does know what best.

mama's blogs

2010-03-29T18:55:00.000-07:00

Give blogger where blogger is due..

2010-03-29T18:52:00.000-07:00

Just a little shout out to some of the coolest people I know! The Ramirez kids (and their awesome mom!) They are the best. They love the Lord and serve in ministry without a complaint, they have such great senses of humour, and they love games like me! This is just Evan and Ceara, but big brother Dain is such a great guy too! He is in Haiti on a missions trip right now.

blogging bubbles

2010-03-29T18:41:00.000-07:00

I have to admit this week I have fantasized about about sending the kids back to school. I have dreamily imagined an entire afternoon to myself. A house that is clean and stays clean for longer than ,oh, five minutes. But, how can I give up days like this. On this day we shirked off some of our usual lessons and went outside to blow bubbles...we also made magnets and wrote poems out of cut out words from a magazine. I love all the little memories we create together as a family.

It would be great though if they could have SPRING FOR HOMESCHOOLERS that consisted of the kids going to school for the entire week so I could get just a teeny break!

Give my regards to blogway!

2010-03-29T18:38:00.000-07:00

Here is my sweet girl. She is obsessed with all things drama just like I was as a kid(and a teen, and NOW!)
She is on her dance studios competitive team and loves every minute of it. My bank account doesn't love it quite so much, but at least it is good exercise. She is constantly begging us to sit through the newest show she wrote or dance she choreographed!

Bubble blog

2010-03-29T18:31:00.000-07:00

Micah loves baths or "iii" as he calls it. He asks for one everyday. He also calls washing his hands "iii". He is the first one of my kids not to be talking up a storm at this age...actually let me rephrase that. He is the first one of kids that I have no idea what he is talking about! He still babbles his made up words all day long!
He picks a word and then uses it for a class of items. For example:
iii= any kind of water that cleans you
baba- any drink
qwackoo- any baked good (he asks for that one a lot, he is my son after all)
nana- any food
baby- any animal
Melmo- any kids movie (but he really does prefer Elmo)

Christmas Blogsings

2009-12-27T08:06:00.000-08:00

It made me feel like He was planting a seed in my kids. They know we made this choice to follow what we felt like God was calling us to do. They have had to hear us say "no" to going to restaurants, movies, or buying toys. They have watched as we got rid of cable and our cell phones. But now they will always know that God can be trusted. He may ask us to give up a few things, but He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ask or imagine!

Merry Christmas!
The Carroll family had some amazing surprises this Christmas. They seemed to be designed to remind us that God loves us and He cares about the specifics of our lives!
We were planning on a pretty slim Christmas this year. I had already prepped the kids that their grandparents would buy them a few presents, but Mommy and Daddy wouldn't be able to this year.
We had a plan that we would spend the night at Grandma's so that when they woke up on Christmas morning their would be something under the tree because I didn't want them to run out to nothing!
Well, God blew our minds. He humbled us and showed me not only how much He loves me, but how much He loves my kids and can provide for them too! I know that is a no brainer, but it has been my biggest struggling as we live by faith. I can handle not getting certain things, but I start to fear that my kids won't get what they need.It began with an amazing answer to prayer and a generous donation of 50 presents to our church. We were able to bless ALL of our Sunday school kids, most of which were going to have a slim Christmas themselves.
Then we got some financial donations which helped us out a lot. Josh and I took a little of that money and got some stocking stuffers for the kids. Every year we decorate stockings as a family tradition. I was happy we were able to fill them!
Here's where it got crazy!!! I was thankful for what God had done already. I felt like He had answered prayer and worked everything out so that our kids would have a great Christmas!
Well then Christmas Eve came. There was a knock at our door and when we opened it there was a family standing there with their arms full of gifts. I thought for sure they were at the wrong house. Surely they were supposed to be at one of the neighbors who were really struggling! But the gifts had my kids names on them! I asked who the gifts were from and all I was told was "Merry Christmas!" I tried again by asking "Are you from a church?" Again I was told kindly "Merry Christmas!" I was not going to get anything out of this family! :)
WHOEVER had blessed us (I stress whoever because it is still driving me crazy not knowing) had truly gone above and beyond. The gifts were so personal and encouraging! They were things my kids really wanted or really needed. They were the right sizes, the right styles. Down to the specifics it was a perfect gift. It was so encouraging reminding me yet again that God cares about the small specifics. On top all that they gave Josh and I a date night complete with baby sitting money. Gift cards, and even a basket that contained a family movie night with gift cards for pizza and movies, a blanket and a game. My daughter was in tears along with her Dad and I just knowing God had done that for her. I had a hard time accepting it knowing that their were people who needed it more than us. At one point I said "We need to give some of this away!" Jackson looked at me like I was crazy and my husband gently told me to let the kids enjoy their blessing. :)
Well we spent the rest of the day totally taken aback when ANOTHER surprise knock came. It was a sweet family from our church. They had spent the time and money to pick out some incredible presents for my kids. Again they were things my kids LOVED. It was a huge bag and the kids just started screaming "NOWAY!" Here I had prepped them for a slim Christmas and God went above and beyond.
It made me feel like He was planting a seed in my kids. They know we made this choice to follow what we felt like God was calling us to do. They have had to hear us say "no" to going to restaurants, movies, or buying toys. They have watched as we got rid of cable and our cell phones. But now they will always know that God can be trusted. He may ask us to give up a few things, but He is able to do exceedingly and abundantly more than we can ask or imagine! And He does bless you when you are trying to do His will sometimes materially, sometimes through growth, sometimes we probably won't see or understand the blessing until we are in heaven, but He us trustworthy!

2009-11-10T12:39:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

2009-11-10T10:54:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Lift your blog!

2009-11-09T23:06:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it is hard for me to get enough prayer and bible time in a week. Between homeschooling, raising three kids, church planting, and sometimes just sheer lack of self-discipline I don't realize that I haven't taken a time out to get refreshed and built up. That is always a recipe for disaster...all of a sudden I am doing everything in my own strength or if I am out the presence of the Lord for too long I lose my desire for HIS desires! Once I no longer want to do His will for my life there goes my peace, joy, purpose, etc.
A few things that save me and bring me back on course are prayer meetings and long times of worship. I am a big believer that when we linger in the presence of God we find life and truth! I believe the lies of the enemy cannot stand up in our minds when we are really praising God with our hearts and voices. I have so many things revealed to me during worship just because my mind was off all the tasks, worries, and distractions, and on God!
Sometimes when I just can't seem to pray I put on a great worship song and just start praising the Lord and soon enough I am able to focus. Some of my greatest times of prayer and worship are in the car by myself. With three kids sometimes that is the only way I can get away, pray, and refocus. These times are often intentional, but sometimes they catch me off guard. A few times even I have seen God force these times. Like the night I had to drive home from Colorado Springs at 3 am because Micah REFUSED to sleep at the hotel we were staying at. What an amazing night that was!
Some of the songs that are really helping draw my heart into worship right now are:

Reese's Peanut blogger cups and Juju blogs...

2009-11-09T22:30:00.000-08:00

Here are some pics from the Hallelujah Party. Thankfully it went great. It is such a blessing to minister and hang out with all the kids and young adults that come to The Light House! We had a ton of junk food, games, a video scavenger hunt that was so fun, and another faulty pinata! I wish I would have gotten more pics, but my camera is terrible during the night time when people are running around! Gramma Joan made my kids awesome costumes. What a blessing. Jack was Luke Skywalker, Jacey was a jester, and Micah was an Ewok. Josh was a little kid, but we joked that his make up made it look like he was going for the joker! The kool-aid mustache didn't quite work out. In fact one of the kids that came to the party asked Josh what he was and when Josh told him he was going for a little kid, the kid answered "what went wrong??" Lol

div>

prophesy to the dry blogs...

2009-10-23T16:46:00.000-07:00

Sooooo...this has been a very dry blog lately! Sorry about that. A friend reminded me today that I promised to update with the miracles God has been doing in our lives since we stepped out in faith.

To be honest it has been hard for me to really nail down my feelings into a post. God had us take this giant step of faith (Josh quitting his job) not just to have us trust Him for finances and grow our faith. He has had us there before, but I think we were in a desperate season. He was trying to teach us so much and there was no way it was all going to register unless everything was stripped away and we could just focus.

In this season Josh has been able to spend his days reading and praying and really get back to why we got into the ministry in the first place. The past few years God has stripped us of our preconceived notions of what a Pastor, leader, church planter, Christian, etc. was. The last few months He has opened our eyes and has been rebuilding our hearts with His vision. It has been amazing. Painful...yes, humbling...yes, exhausting...yes, worthwhile...ABSOLUTELY!

Good things are on the horizon!

I can also say that God has been providing. Donations have come in every time we have really needed them. Our three kids have been fed, our car payments paid, and most recently an unsolicited support check came and paid our mortgage for the month!!!
God is so faithful. I constantly remind myself of that when worry starts to creep up. I catch myself dwelling on Christmas and wondering how in the world we are going give our kids presents or what if we lose the car or what if...
I mean it does seem a little crazy. In this economy why would people to sacrifice to help a small church pastor! But, God has made a way. Even in our little congregation people have stepped up to bless us. One day I was thinking about how my son had outgrown his bike helmet and wishing I could buy him a new one. The next day a friend noticed my son without it on and took it upon herself to get him one without me saying anything! Someone else volunteered to pay for my daughters dance lessons if we couldn't afford them. We have some family members who have bent over backwards to help and encourage us through many different methods.
I want to use this post to say thank you to everyone who has helped us through support and prayer thru this journey. We have amazing friends, family and brothers and sisters in Christ and we love you so much!

"ET blog home"

2009-10-15T11:19:00.000-07:00

Just for fun :)

fall feet and blogelions...

2009-10-07T09:55:00.000-07:00

Beer Bloggles

2009-09-16T11:44:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard of beer goggles? When someone drinks to much and all of a sudden they start seeing things that aren't there? They are attracted to someone they normally would walk right by. They are acting like a fool, but they feel like they are the funniest guy/girl on the planet. They are monopolizing the conversation with musings that make no sense, but they think they sound extremely intelligent?
Boy do I remember those days before I was a Christian. I had too many nights when some sort of goggles from some sort of chemical substance I shouldn't have ingested made me feel like the worst of decisions were a good idea.
Actually before I was saved it was kind of like I was wearing beer goggles all the time. I just couldn't see CLEARLY. I thought things that could hurt me and ruin my life were the things to strive for.
I still remember the day my boyfriend and I (who were living together and pretty miserable with all the fighting) visited a church. We had been wanting to go for awhile and finally one night we walked a half an hour through the streets of Brooklyn, NY in the freezing cold to this church we had heard of. We argued the whole way!
When we finally arrived we pushed open the double doors thankful to get out of the cold, but we got a whole lot more than we bargained for. That was the night I finally took my beer goggles off! That night I became a Christian. It was amazing! The next morning everything seemed brighter, even the dingy NY subways!
I have realized over the past few weeks that without even knowing it I had allowed a different sort of goggle to cloud my eyes. Religion goggles. And similar to beer goggles you don't even realize they are there until you take them off.
What are religion goggles? Well, for one things had stopped looking so bright. Nothing seemed hopeful in my life anymore. I realized I had become known for what I didn't believe in rather for what I did believe in. I was feeling a contant sense that I was never doing enough. In my own mind MY LIFE had become SO big and God had become rather small...or maybe not small but just SO far away!
Recently, God in his mercy helped me to see, the same way He patiently led me to a place where I could take off the things that blinded me the first time.
Again things seemed bright. I have a hope and a future. I am reminded what I was created for, but also I am finding comfort in the fact that I am a small piece of a giant puzzle that HE is orchestrating together. My own life and it's troubles aren't SO HUGE. I am not just a part of a small church plant I am a part of the body of Christ! I can celebrate the successes of all my brothers and sisters all over the world because we are working together to glorify His name.
So are you wearing any goggles?
Here are some signs-

You might be wearing Christian beer goggles if you are feeling a heavy weight on your shoulders or all you can think about is your troubles and hardships.

You might be wearing Christian beer goggles if you find it really hard to rejoice in the blessings of others or your feel jealous every time you see someone with a bigger church, better car, nicer house, more friends, more talent....etc.

You might be wearing Christian beer goggles if you feel trapped in your life and don't feel the freedom to just be who God made you to be.

You might be wearing Christian beer goggles if you know what you don't believe in, but you're having a really hard time finding what you do believe in.

You might be wearing Christian beer goggles if you think are your problems are stemming from another person or a circumstance like money, resources etc.

You might be wearing Christian beer goggles if you think a person or money or a resource is the ANSWER to your problems.

I am sure the list could go on and on. If you want comment and let me know what your Christian beer goggles have been!

yes, I am blogular...

2009-09-09T20:28:00.000-07:00

Stolen from a friends blog...wanted to post it here so I could meditate on it.
A Prayer For the Day
"Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life."
St. Francis of Assisi

PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS! Itty-bitty blog

2009-09-05T18:03:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful that God cares about the small things. There so many big things in my life that are up the air. SO many, really big things. God has pretty much been silent on all of them. In my finite mind I think it is because He wants to grow my faith, to teach me trust, maybe to teach me to rejoice in my sufferings and not let my feelings dictate everything. Of course I am still in the middle of the lesson so it could be about something completely different!
This week sort of culminated in a crisis of my faith. I hadn't been in a service for awhile due to the blessing of teaching Sunday school, I got sick, and a few other natural things that were out of my control hit this week. The physical, emotional, and spiritual battles all came together in one week and I felt like I had a ginormous weight on my shoulders pushing me into despair.

To top it all off I lost my favorite necklace. I searched everywhere and could feel my temperature rising every time I looked a new place and came up empty handed. Everything became so overwhelming that I just had to GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!

I drove around praying and listening to worship music feeling completely defeated. I prayed about everything that has been bothering me lately and still didn't feel much of an answer from the Lord, but when I started praying about my necklace the flood gates opened. It's not just any necklace. It is a necklace that my husband bought for me last time we were living by faith. He worked a secret extra job to afford it and the necklace is a constant reminder to me that I am loved not only by my husband, but by God because at a time when all our money should have gone for PRACTICAL THINGS they both worked together to let me know I was treasured and important.
I prayed with all my heart that God would help me find my necklace. I got an image of an obscure place in my bathroom and quickly dismissed it because I believed I would never have put it there. After calming down and running some errands I came home feeling a tiny bit refreshed, but still pretty fragile in the faith area.
This morning I remembered I still hadn't found my necklace and started to feel upset all over again, but I remembered the image I got while praying and decided to check there. Sure enough THE NECKLACE was there!
This has encouraged me so much. That the God of the universe cared enough to help me find my necklace. It has reminded me of my assurance that surely if he cares enough to help me find my necklace then HE WILL NOT ABANDON ME in the other big areas I am leaning on Him.
My future, my family, my walk with Him are all secure.

Blogging hot air, but sounding pretty Godly while doing it. ;)

2009-09-05T14:03:00.000-07:00

I hope not all of these are true, but some of them are pretty funny. My faves are in BOLD. :)

Translating Christianese
The Evangelical Press Association (EPA) website recently shared the following: Christianese is a language used in the Christian subculture and understood easily only by other practicing Christians. As Christian communicators it's important to avoid words in our writing that could be misunderstood or fail to communicate — terms that have meaning only in the Christian subculture.
As a public service, here are some common phrases used in the church, along with their English-language equivalents:

Christianese: "If it be God's will."
Translation: "I really don't think God is going to answer this one.
Christianese: "Let's have a word of prayer."
Translation: "I am going to pray for a long, long, long time."
Christianese: "That's not my spiritual gift."
Translation: "Find someone else."
Christianese: "Fellowship"
Translation: "Organized gluttony."
Christianese: "The Lord works in mysterious ways."
Translation: "I'm totally clueless."
Christianese: "Lord willing . . ."
Translation: "You may think I'll be there, but I won't."
Christianese: "I don't feel led."
Translation: "Can't make me."
Christianese: "God led me to do something else."
Translation: I slept in instead of going to church.
Christianese: "God really helped me with this test."
Translation: "I didn't study but I guessed good, so I'm giving God credit in the hope that He helps me again."
Christianese: "She has such a sweet spirit!"
Translation: "What an airhead!"
Christianese: "I have a 'check' in my spirit about him."
Translation: "I can't stand that jerk!"
Christianese: "I'll be praying for you."
Translation: "There's an outside chance I'll remember this conversation later today."
Christianese: "Prayer concerns"
Translation: "Gossip"
Christianese: "In conclusion . . . "
Translation: "I'll be done in another hour or so."
Christianese: "Let us pray"
Translation: "I'm going to pretend to talk to God now, but I'm really preaching at you."
Christianese: "You just have to put it in God's hands."
Translation: "Don't expect me to help you."
Christianese: "God wants to prosper you!"
Translation: "Give me all your money." (Author Unknown)

Tennis Blogs

2009-09-04T03:13:00.000-07:00

Blogonade and Cupcakes!

2009-09-04T02:32:00.000-07:00

The Light House Sunday School kids (with the help of everyone else at The Light House) had a bake sale and lemonade stand to raise money for an orphanage in Haiti. We raised just over $200.00 and were able to send 465 lbs of food this week!

taking a break!

Omaha, Neblogska

2009-09-04T02:11:00.001-07:00

An afternoon in the garden of Grams and Gramps house. :)
(please, please click on the funny face pictures to see the full ridiculousness of then close up!)

watching bloggerflies...

2009-09-04T00:51:00.000-07:00

Auntie Shannon and Micah watching the butterflies in the garden...

I'm so hungry I could eat a ...blog

2009-09-01T04:17:00.000-07:00

Josh has recently taken up cooking as a hobby. I am very excited about this! Tonight he made chicken and rice with a Thai peanut sauce, The kids love Thai food so they were so excited when they sat down to eat. Immediately I could see from Jacey's face something wasn't right, but since she is SO picky I figured she just wasn't used to it. I encouraged her not to make faces and to eat what her Dad had made to her. I heard her say under her breath "It's just a little hard." (Meaning the chicken.) Then Jack loudly announced, "This chicken won't let me swallow it!"

Stolen from Mark Blogerson

2009-08-31T08:47:00.000-07:00

I think God measures our acts of worship by their level of sacrifice. No sacrifice = No worship. Remember the story where David wants to buy a threshing floor from Araunah the Jebusite? Araunah offers it for free, but David refuses. He says, "I'm not going to offer God, my God, sacrifices that are no sacrifices." Other versions says use the phrase "cost me nothing."Honestly, I wonder how many of our acts of worship don't even count because they don't involve any sacrifice? His sacrifice warrants more than spare change. His sacrifice warrants more than spare time. We've got to do better than leftover spirituality that offers God what's leftover. For the record, I don't believe anyone has ever sacrifice anything for God. Sure, we make temporal sacrifices. But let me ask a question: if you always get back more than you gave up have you really sacrifice anything at all? The think the answer is no! In the words of Jim Elliot, "He is no fool who loses what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

Mark Batterson
www.evotional.com

I have been thinking about this very premise all week. I wanted to write about it, but Mark is an amazing writer so when I read this on his blog this morning I figured I would just steal it!
One word of encouragement...make sure your not just thinking about the great things your gonna do "later on" or "one day" for God. Instead do what he is telling you today. Even it feels a little difficult or uncomfortable. It might even seem a little foolish or humbling, but HE IS WORTH IT! Don't let your emotions discourage you from something you know you are supposed to do for him and don't ever make a decision when you are mentally, physically, or spiritually exhausted. Those who chase after the comforts of this life will always end up wanting. It's amazing how pushing through the sacrifices God asks us to make do something amazing...we learn, we become better people (more like Him), and we truly see how sufficient His grace can be when we let it!

Smorgablog Part 2

2009-08-19T05:32:00.000-07:00

More things kids say... (taken from my Facebook status)

Convo with Jack "So God gets to pick what I will be when grow up?" Me- "Yes, but don't worry He knows you the best and will pick the perfect thing for you." Jack- "I sure hope he doesn't pick dentist!" Me- "Why?" Jack- "boooring, all they do is check out people's teeth all day!"Read More
August 11 at 12:34pm

He also hoped God wouldn't pick a guy who cuts down trees or a pizza maker.
August 11 at 12:35pm
Caught Micah dragging puppy across the floor by a fistfull of fur. The poor dog didn't do anything, she just went along with it!
August 3 at 8:34pm

Micah is a starbucks addict. He is walking around with a vivanno and won't let anyone touch it and he keeps saying "mmmmm".
August 3 at 4:29pm

From the mouth of Jack..."ahh a bug!! Somebody get me my gun."
July 20 at 6:43pm

Jackson eyeing the storm clouds. "Looks like there's gonna be a brain storm!"
July 13 at 8:51pm

Aww Micah learned how to give a kiss and say "Love u too" in the same day!
June 20 at 8:52pm

Sam's club...kids...tomatoes rolling every where...
June 15 at 1:48pm

is at Jack's first gymnastics class... He won't stop jumping up and down on the springy floor...he looks like a little pogo stick
June 8 at 3:59pm

For Smorgablog part 1 and more Carroll family craziness http://ladylighthouse.blogspot.com/2009/06/smorgablog.html

George Muller blogs my mind...

2009-08-18T16:45:00.000-07:00

Well he BLOWS my mind actually. I am so blessed by his utter dependence on God. He had such amazing faith. George Muller's autobiography makes me want to get on my knees! So much of it is resonating in my heart. He never asked for support from people, but instead made his request known to God and God supplied...not only for his family, but for the thousands of orphans he cared for over the years. If God can miraculously provide for thousands of children he can certainly provide for three! His amazing faith and prayer life aren't the only things speaking to my heart. Also, his love and desire to care for children. He just thought so big when it came to changing the lives of kids. I have new found LOVE for children's ministry. It's one of the greatest joys in my life. I pray the Lord lead me to think big and trust Him for great things.
It's kind of funny I truly think God wants me to glean from Muller's life. Not only am I reading his autobiography right now, but both devotions I read the past two days featured stories about him as well!

Here are some quotes from Muller...

"4 hours of work after an hour of prayer accomplish more than 5 hours of work."

"In my...69 years...that I have ever SINCERELY and PATIENTLY sought to know the will of God by the teaching of the Holy Ghost and through...the Word of God...I have always been directed rightly. But if honesty of heart and uprightness before God were lacking or I did not PATIENTLY wait upon God for instruction, or if I preferred the counsel of my fellow men to the ...Word of the living God, I made great mistakes."

Blogyond the window pane

2009-08-17T15:43:00.000-07:00

Micah loves to sit at the window. It's cute to see him discover that the world is bigger than he thought!

big blog out!

2009-08-15T16:37:00.000-07:00

Well, Micah became an artist today. A diaper artist. He started earlier than my other children. Jacey dabbled in diaper art covering her crib. Jackson was a diaper art aficionado. His works of art were not confined to the crib noooooo. He loved to cover walls, grind his work into the carpet, paint toys. He would walk through it, hide his works of art under toys, once he actually rode a big wheel through it...in his bedroom.

If you have never had children this post might confuse you, but most likely you too will one day know the joys of your child expressing himself (or herself) through diaper art.

What's in my Bookblog? (or What am I reading right now?)

2009-08-14T11:55:00.000-07:00

Decided to turn off Facebook for awhile and draw closer to the Lord. If you've read some of my previous blogs you know we are in the midst of a big transition. I am trying to use this time to make sure I have surrendered what I need to and that my life is quiet enough so I can hear His still small voice. So quickly my life fills up and then the quiet moments I do have I can spend them mindlessly clicking through the Internet.

Anyway, this is what I am reading right now...

Absolutely amazing devotional for the heavier times in life.

A man who lived by faith his entire adult life once he surrendered everything to God. Not only were all of his personal and family needs met, but he opened orphanages from the ground up with out ever asking for a penny (from man, he asked A LOT from GOD.) This book inspires me to go deeper in God's word and in prayer.

A really great book written by a man who's joy and hunger for the Lord inspires me to get creative and look at my obstacles as opportunities to see God glorified. I am also reading through Mark Batterson's other book Wild Goose Chase.

Blogeroni

2009-08-07T14:48:00.000-07:00

Micah loves pizza. I don't know if he knows it's food though because it never looks like he eats much...more like he smears it all over himself!

Not a good pic, but this is what I was able to do with his hair after his pizza. It stayed for over an hour...

Picking bloggies!

2009-08-07T14:01:00.000-07:00

I had the privilege of taking some of my favorite people in the world to one of my favorite places in the world! Some of my Sunday school class came with me to Berry Patch Farms! :)The sweet and beautiful Laura came with us too.

Clarissa
David
Jacqueline with Micah- she has a very motherly heart. :)

Sammy

Jose :)

Laura

David and Bacon...she was resting in front of the door to the little store blocking the way! lol

Sabrina :)

Alejandro on the tractor to the berry fields

Ricardo

Alejandro found the biggest berries of the day.

Love the picture below!

i think maybe Jose ate a few! ;)

Micah sampling the berries.

At first he wasn't so sure and spit them out...

But after another try...

Sammy and his fake berry blood.

So after another try he was eating so many that Laura had to give him every other one she picked!

Oops Moving to slow I'll just take one from here!

Uh oh...someone found out that berries squish nicely!

Dropping lunch on the ground and watching chickens eat it...

Carrots

Flowers for their Mom's

Miraculously Bacon can walk!
I've had enough fun for one day!!!

I'm a blog mom...

2009-08-07T13:55:00.000-07:00

Ummm...sometimes I am not a good Mom. :) I try to be, but...
Well, let me just tell the story. Josh recounted a little conversation he had with Jack.

Josh asked how Jack's day went and Jack said, "well, I was a bad boy and then Mom turned into Wolverine."

Blog to the Farm

2009-08-07T13:28:00.000-07:00

The kids took a class at Berry Patch Farm this year. Micah and I hung out while they learned about dirt and soil. This has to be one of my favorite places. :) Micah ate some dirt

Believe it or not this is the same pig Jacey was trying to pick up last year...Bacon.
The poor thing is so fat it can barely walk!

Dirty hands from building mud bricks.

Jack hates it when his hands are dirty!

The tree fell out of the blue the night before. They were thankful it fell at night and not the day before when families were sitting at the picnic tables underneath it!

Bloggin' Things Up

2009-08-07T13:11:00.000-07:00

These are some pictures from 4th of July. Just hanging out in the yard and playing with smoke bombs.

Mind bloggling!

2009-07-30T19:04:00.000-07:00

Well, my family's life is taking dramatic swing this week. We have been on quite a journey the past few years church planting. So many ups and downs, but truly seeing as the best schooling I could of asked for. I have learned a lot about myself, the Lord, and other people though the peaks and valleys. Lately to be honest the journey has gotten harder and harder. I was starting to feel so tired. Physically, mentally, and spiritually. I would catch myself in daydreams about running away and doing something "easier". Maybe sitting in a big church where I could hide and miss a Sunday. A big church where someone else could handle the complaints, the confrontation, the set up and tear down! ;) My mind never gets too far down the road in those thought patterns because ultimately I know there is no better place to be than in God's will. I also know that no matter where I go I am taking ME along for the ride, so the same lesson will still need to be learned and I will probably face a lot of the same problems!!!

I wanted to be honest about where I was spiritually the last few weeks before I share the huge life change so that it is clear what a difficult step this was. So as I said I was at the bottom. I felt like I had used up all the faith I had, trusting in the face of adversity, believing when all signs pointed in the opposite direction. Truly I felt a little hopeless. I half heartedly choked out prayers begging God to bring breakthrough and to speak.

My heavenly father did speak but, instead of bringing some sort of amazing encouraging word or miraculous sign His still small voice brought a challenge. One night as my husband prayed he felt he heard God's voice clearly asking us to go deeper. He reminded him that we belonged to Him and that we needed to surrender all. Josh felt very strongly he needed to quit his job and enter into full time ministry. All things rational would say this is a crazy idea. We don't have savings, our small church can't support us, we have THREE children. So in the midst of our brokenness and discouragement He was asking us to take the biggest step of faith in our lives!

I cried for a week. It has never been so hard for me to say yes to God's will. Not when we first got saved and he asked us both to put our love of acting and theater on the altar, not for the years we lived in NY and our salary was never enough to pay the bills, not when God called us to move to Colorado without the finances or a job, not even through church planting.

Finally God spoke peace to my heart. He reminded me of HIS faithfulness. He reminded me that when we gave up our dreams of acting that He opened the door for us to do dramas for Him and see not hundreds, but thousands saved in one weekend. He reminded me of the thousands of dollars that were miraculously provided for as we trusted him in NYC. He brought to mind the $22,000 that came the week before we loaded the truck to move to Colorado AND the three times $3,000 were shoved into my purse when Josh was out of work for over a year. He has never once failed us.

So I said yes. I told my God I would trade my dreams of comfort for His dreams of being glorified and drawing men to himself.

My husband gave his resignation this week. Two weeks until his salary ceases and we are completely dependent on God speaking to His people and doing MIRACLES!

I am happy to be in the land of miracles, the place where unless God comes through we will go under because I know my God provides for His people and is faithful to his word. My moods do shift a bit when I think of the dance lessons that need to be paid for or the mortgage or the economy or...this list could go on forever. Instead I constantly am reminding myself to focus on the God of the BIBLE, the God I serve. The one who parted the Red Sea, healed the lepers, and gave His son to die for me because He loves me so much!

So here we go another adventure with our Savior. I pray to be able to encourage you with stories of miraculous provision, growth, change, and hope in the coming days!

Step out of the blog!

2009-07-26T19:51:00.000-07:00

The winds whipped across his face as he stared into the darkness. He could barely make out the figure on the water. Even when he squinted his hardest the faint outline of the person was marred by the waves that crashed over the distant man's head. At first he thought it was a ghost or maybe his weary eyes playing tricks on him. He strained even harder, leaning out over the water as he clinged to sides of the rocking boat. It wasn't a ghost. It was HIM. The one he had seen do so many miracles, the one with the tender eyes of love, the one that was easy to follow even when following didn't make any sense. There He was coming toward the boat as the sea raged around Him. Yet the fact that the man could stand strong while being pummeled by the strongest of waves wasn't the most amazing thing about the situation. The truly mind blowing part was that the man was WALKING ON THE WATER. As deep as the water was, as broken as the storm made the surface of the water, yet he was walking as though he was on a path found on dry ground.

Seeing his trusted friend and leader doing such an amazing feat the man got excited. Something rose up within him. He wanted to do something amazing too. He had seen the sickest of men healed in instant, he had seen a few fish and loaves feed thousands, and now gravity was being defied and supernatural strength was being displayed. He was tired of watching the impossible happen, he wanted to experience it. He desperately wanted the miraculous power to be made manifest in him.

"Lord, if it is you, tell me to come to you on the water!"

He knew that if his Lord would tell him to come that he could be trusted completely. His faithful friend had never lied.

"Come!" He heard the voice ring out from the distance. He didn't stop to think, hoisting himself up he stepped onto the edge of the boat. The rocking boat almost caused him to lose his balance and he couldn't escape the murmurings he heard from his friends watching behind him. Of course they thought he was crazy, but he wasn't going to heed their warnings. He wanted to go to his Lord. He wanted to do the impossible just as he had seen Jesus do time and time again. His heart raced as he lowered himself onto the water.

His brain tried to register exactly what was happening. Part of him expected to sink instantly just as he always had when he entered water, but instead he felt as though he had stepped on a solid rock! The water didn't give way. A smile broke out on his face as he looked up searching for the one who made miracles possible. Jesus was there a few steps away with His hand lifted, reaching out, beckoning him to come closer.

He took another step toward Jesus, but then turned back to look at the boat. He saw his friends all lined up watching in disbelief. Seeing their shocked faces he realized how crazy what he was doing was. Just then a large gust of wind blew through his hair. He went in one instant from feeling so powerful, so full of faith, to a frightened child. It was impossible to walk on water and in this storm he would surely drown if he got too far away from the boat! Panicking thoughts of sharks, and other horrible sea creatures filled his mind. He imagined them beneath him, just waiting for him to go under. He wished he had never stepped out of the boat, in his heart he suddenly didn't know if he could trust His Lord to help him. He quickly turned back searching for Jesus, but before he could see Him he began to sink.

What had he been thinking? He was a lowly fisherman. Of course he could never do the amazing things that Jesus did. Of course he would fail!

"Lord, save me!" Peter cried out chocking on the water the waves threw in his face. He could feel the sea pulling him under. He wondered if he would make it out alive.

He felt something strong grab onto his arm. It was Jesus, he had come to save him. Jesus pulled him up back onto the surface of the water. He clung to Jesus and though his heart pounded with fear, he felt like he was on the solid rock again. Too ashamed to look into his Lord's eyes, he simply let Jesus lead him back to the boat.

"You of little faith. Why did you doubt?" That was all he heard Jesus say. When he heard those words he wished desperately to the core of his being that he had trusted. That he wouldn't of looked at the cirumstances, but instead would of kept his eyes fixed on Jesus.

I write this tonight because I am facing my own stormy sea. Jesus is asking up to step out onto the water, yet it looks impossible. I am reminding myself that He is the God of the impossible...

smorgablog

2009-06-06T02:34:00.000-07:00

I doubt anybody is interested, but for my own records I am going to put some of my favorite facebook status (statuses, stati?) on my blog. I want to remember the things my kids say and life's little crazy moments...since I usually share them thru facebook I am gonna copy and paste some of my favorites.

1. Got all three kids dressed, loaded in car, drove half an hour to the mall. Got out the stroller, got out all three kids...realized Micah had a BLOW OUT that turned 80 % of his clothes a nice shade of yellow. Loaded everything back up and went home.
June 1 at 12:49pm

2. I must share a Jack story. Jack fell down and thru his tears he said "now would be a good time to hold me!!!"
May 21 at 5:09pm

3. Jacey said " I always have hangovers!" (She was talking about hang nails.)
May 17 at 7:11pm

4. Devotions with the kids this morning. Me- "Jack do you wanna pray for Obama?" Jack- "His name is Barack Obama you know!"... Jack- "Dear Lord please help Barack Obama make the right recisions and if he doesn't let the other guy win." (I think we may still need to touch on the political process some in homeschooling! lol)
May 13 at 4:06am

5. just looove diaper blow out...the carpet and my pants really love it too. YUCK!
May 6 at 9:40am ·

6. Can't find my contacts...wearing glasses that my dog so nicely has chewed to smithereens...even the little nose paddy things are gone.
May 3 at 4:43pm ·

7. I asked Jack what color light saber he would have...he said "Blue" I asked him if it was blue for valor or blue for truth. He said, "ummm, actually it's blue for fighting!" Of course :)
May 2nd at 10:26 pm

8. Jacey just said, "Grrrr! Everyone I know is 9!!! I drives me nuts!!!" I ask "Why?" She says "Because it makes me feel like a child!!!"
April 30 at 10:15am

9. Jackson told me yesterday "Mom I wish I could marry you. Too bad THAT GUY got you first!"
April 24 at 9:42am

10. Murphy's law... go to the gym with no make-up and food on your shirt = see someone from highschool.
April 15 at 9:27am

11. Jacey sang "I love rock n roll, put another dollar in the juice box baby!" lol
April 8 at 11:13pm

12. Jack tried to convince me not to cut his fingernails because he is trying to grow "Wolverine claws"!
April 8 at 1:47pm

13. My husband has a great laugh. I am listening to him talk to a close friend on the phone and his laugh is making me smile! :)
April 4 at 12:28pm

14. Jackson told me today that he is thankful God healed his "spicy buns". I don't even want to know....
March 28 at 6:35pm

15. Ohhhh Awesome. It's only 1 am and Micah has already woken up twice. He is wide awake playing with his teething tablets right now. It's gonna be a long...
March 25 at 12:57am

16. Jack said "daddy has nerds of steel!"
March 18 at 2:41pm

The things kids say are truly the best!

bloglicious!!!

2009-06-04T13:10:00.000-07:00

I promise you, these are so cute! You must watch! :)

baby's first blogday cake!

2009-06-04T12:43:00.001-07:00

Micah Jo turned 1! He approached his cake very differently from his brother and sister. Jacey and Jack both didn't want to touch the cake so they just dunked their faces right in! Micah went very slowly and deliberately. He lightly touched the cake and got used to the texture and then took small bites.
He would stop to pick up any crumb that dropped even though the whole cake was right there! :)

FOR ME??? :)

LOOOOVE THE LEGS!

PICKING UP A CRUMB :)

Happy Blogday X's 3

2009-06-04T11:16:00.000-07:00

April B-day boys!

in-blogs

2009-06-04T10:40:00.000-07:00

My wonderful second family. I truly have the best in-laws a girl could ask for. I can never contribute to my friends crazy in-law stories! I am so thankful for them! They were praying for me from the time Josh was born and I truly believe that had a lot to do with all the seeds God planted in my life that led me to Him.
Micah is Gramma Joan's twin!

Bloggerflies

2009-06-04T09:27:00.000-07:00

I think it's interesting how my favorite family memories are not the well planned big events. I am always surprised when all of a sudden they appear out of no where. Not planned, just an amazing moment of bonding. Like laying on a blanket blowing bubbles or randomly deciding to make lunch a picnic instead of eating at the same old table.
Last night we had an impromtu family slumber party in the living room. Daddy had been working late all this week and after we put the kids to bed we kept hearing little footprints in the hallway telling us they just wanted to be close to him. So we brought out all the blankets and put on the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice hoping they would fall asleep.

I realized last night would be one of my favorite family memories while I was cuddling with my son Jack on the couch. We were staring at a moth on the ceiling and I said we should go to the "Butterfly Pavillion."
He wrapped his little arms around me and said, "I hope the butterflies are beautiful just like you mommy."

Officially one of my all time favorite moments and I expect it will be forever. I am glad I didn't just tell them to get in bed!!

(Amazingly enough, moments after I wrote this blog the kids on their own decided to play fairies outside, so I got butterfly pictures to go along with my story!

Beach blogs

2009-05-07T09:14:00.000-07:00

La Jolla, California

Jack's chubby footprint

Steps of a baby at the beach:
Step one get used to the sand

Step two touch the sand

Step three taste the sand

Step four cry because sand doesn't taste so good

Tinkerblog...Our day at Disneyland

2009-05-05T15:36:00.000-07:00

We went to California for Micah, Jack, and Granpa Wayne's birthday's. We decided to spend the first day at Disneyland.

Waiting in line...

Jacey's new parasol...

The sun was so bright you can barely see them, but I thought it was kind of a cool effect. :)

I want my mommy!

Daddy and Jacey playing at Toon town

Wanna have a blog-b-que?

2009-05-05T11:07:00.001-07:00

My husband and I had a great time picking out stuff for our back deck. We found this really cute store called Cowgirl Junkies. They are only open one weekend a month. They have a lot of great items. Everything is old or rusty or chipped or dirty! Just the way I like it! :)

My favorite find is the old pink church pew. I think it fits me! :) I got the old buckets to plant flowers in. Now all we need is grass! Ha! Anyway, wanna come over for a barbeque??

"Let my people BLOG!"

2009-04-27T14:05:00.000-07:00

Oh has it been one of those seasons. One of those times when I feel like everything is caving in around me and it is hard to find even a glimmer of hope. As I prayed for encouragement today I ran across these verses in the Bible.
Joshua 21:43-45
So the Lord gave Israel all the land he had sworn to give their forefathers, and they took possession of it and settled there. The Lord gave them rest on every side, just as he had sworn to their forefathers. Not one of their enemies withstood them; the Lord handed all their enemies over to them. Not one of all the Lord’s good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled.
NOT ONE OF ALL THE LORD’S GOOD PROMISES FAILED; EVERY ONE WAS FULFILLED.
Today it seems to me that there is no way that every one of God’s promises is going to be fulfilled in my life. That is what my feelings tell me, yet the word of God tells me something very different. My feelings tell me I have made too many mistakes, had too many doubts, that the circumstance looks hopeless, and that God is not going to come through. OH HOW MUCH I HAVE IN COMMON with the Israelites! The Israelites seemed to forget God’s faithfulness the moment after His amazing miracles. They constantly looked at the circumstances they could see instead of remembering how many times God had provided. They bickered, doubted, even turned to false gods. Yet GOD WAS FAITHFUL to them. They did not earn His faithfulness or provision, but that is the God we serve. Thank you Lord!
It is so comforting to know that God uses people. People who make grave mistakes. God called David the murdering adulterer “a man after God’s own heart.” Knowing Peter’s weaknesses Jesus still called him to be a founder of the church! God knew the Israelites would complain and turn their backs on Him, yet he still set them free from slavery and gave them the Promised Land.
I think my struggle is truly letting go what my “promised land” is supposed to look like. I feel like I know so well WHAT it is and HOW it is supposed to look and the BEST way to get there! When it doesn’t go the way expected I feel such despair and fear as though it is all over. Maybe my promised land as I saw it is never going to come to pass, but I find comfort in knowing He will be faithful to me.

Only Bloglieve

2009-04-14T17:25:00.000-07:00

James 1:2-8
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

These are my verses of the day. Was feeling a little rejected today, and when I prayed about it this passage popped into my head. I have always loved the first part. I have truly seen that trails and hard times can be counted as joy and they do help us to grow and mature as Christians and as people. They make us more compassionate and definitely stronger. I have also been blessed know that God gives wisdom to ANYONE who asks without looking at our faults. What an awesome promise is that????
As much as I love those parts that is not what jumped out at me today. Instead the end caught my attention more than it ever has before. The part about doubt. It actually says a man who doubts is unstable and should not expect to recieve from God! It is amazing how much faith has to do with our walk with the Lord. The faith to accept Him, the faith to follow Him when so many others are headed in the opposite direction, the faith to go when we don't feel ready or say yes when it seems to hard, and then the FAITH to believe when it doesn't look so good. The faith to trust during the darkest of night. Lord help us not to doubt. Help us to cling to you that you might be able to bless us!

Jelly blogs...an Easter thought

2009-04-10T14:25:00.001-07:00

John 12:23-24
23Jesus replied, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. 24I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

Happy Easter! I hope and pray that God is speaking to everyone the way He is speaking to me this week! It is such a blessing to hear His voice!
This week God has truly shown me that it is a blessing to die to myself. I am rejoicing that He has picked this week for me to die to certain things because it the same week over 2,000 years ago that God proved He was willing to make that sacrifice for me. Jesus died that I might be whole. But, he didn't stop there He rose from the grave to show me that dying to self isn't the end. It is the beginning!!! I believe He brought everything to a boiling point in my life this week so as I walked thru dying I would easily remember He walked thru it too. It has been a reminder to me that after death comes the RESSURECTION. What is the resurrection? It is LIFE!
God has been asking my husband and me to obey him in a very hard area for a long time. I have fought and even tried to excuse my lack of obedience by slathering it things that sound righteous. I found verses to back up why I was disobeying. I used every term that sounded righteous. But, really I fighting God's will and trying in my feeble human way to control the outcome of my life. I had it planned in my head. I knew what it was supposed to look like!!
Finally (without much help from me sadly) God brought His will to fruition. The hard decision was made. It hurt. It was hard. It required dying to self. But then, strangely enough, peace came flooding in. Even through my tears there was peace. That peace that surpasses ALL understanding. And not only had that, but something within me broken. I was able to see so clearly where I had been going wrong in certain areas of my life. I could see how desperately I was trying to control things. How fear motivated so many of my decisions. Time and time again God has tried to show me that no matter how I try to control something I can't change the outcome! All I do is carry a burden that is not mine to carry. I cannot make people truly happy. I cannot make people want the Lord! That is between them and God. All I can do is what He calls me to do and let Him have his way. His way in me AND in others.
I realize that any type of rebellion equals chains. Even when the rebellion is clothed in righteous phrases! But when we finally surrender the things we hold onto so tightly, whether it is our dreams, desires, relationships, "me time", whatever it may be, the chains fall and then we really experience that HIS yoke is easy and His burden is light!
We have been singing a song that says "Trading all that I have, for all that is better." He truly is better. Just His peace alone is worth a thousand dreams!
Though it can painful to trust other people and myself into His arms, I know what He has for us all is better than what we can offer ourselves.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on...blogs

2009-04-07T14:40:00.000-07:00

Some of my favorite things right now...in no particular order.

1. Prayer Meeting
2. Getting back into the gym
3. Seeing what an amazing big sister Jacey is.

4. Jack's drawings...they are just awesome and so funny! The one below is of a roller skating accident! Notice the one one the right punching the skate boarder..his helmet and skateboard are flying in the air!

5. When my baby boy flirts with me. :)

6. The Biggest Loser

7. Going to the gym...especially with my friend Lonni.

8. baby smiles

9. busy hand and feet

10. distressed furniture

11. baby faces!!!

12. My daughter's eyes

13. faded florals

14. Isaiah 61: 1-3

15. Children's Ministry

16. Flowers in old unconventional containers

17. My kids playing nicely together for hours

18. Micah's tiny palm

19. Worship

20. dressing my boys alike

21. My wonderful husband

22. laughing with good friends

23. Jack's red hair 24. You Were There by Avalon

25. Jackisms
26. What God's doing in my life

It twas Ms.Scarlett in the library with a blog

2009-04-07T13:26:00.000-07:00

I finally has a Mystery Party. I have always wanted to. It was pretty fun! I of course made a complete fool of myself, but what else is to be expected!! I am sad that I don't have more pictures, especially of the people who came later. :*( If anyone has pics, please forward them on!

Peter Prez and Clerical Katie

The unhappy couple! Sally Spirit and Bobby Backer the star Quarter Back.The looney Principle living vicariously thru her students.
Peter Prez...aka Don Johnson/a WWE Wrestler/heavey metal fan

Alan Algebra...why does my sweetie always get typecast as a nerd?? ;)

Cindy Sensational (the culprit) and Kevin Kicker

Hippoblogomus

2009-03-11T02:35:00.000-07:00

My friend Rachel and I headed up to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo last week. It is so beautiful. It is in CO Springs on a mountain side. You get to feed the giraffes. They eat right out of your hand! It's so neat. I befriended a hippo. He wanted to come home with me I am pretty sure...must of thought we were related. :) Also we watched a Gorilla interact with it's toddler which was hysterical. The little gorilla was acting like it was big stuff...beating it's chest and all, but everytime it's mama walked away it would chase after her. A Baboon had a brand new baby and was feeding it. She got quite territorial when Rachel tried to stand on a railing and get a peek! It was a nice day, lots of laughs, some talk about God, and a trip to Cracker Barrel. What more could you ask for? Oh yeah AND it was 70 degrees. :)

blogged out of my mind...

2009-03-11T01:26:00.001-07:00

In theory the Disney Expo downtown sounded fun. In reality not so much. Atleast not for the grown-ups. It was one of those Chucky Cheese experiences where you feel like you have had a lobotomy by the end. The kids had a pretty good time though and we got to hang out with some good friends. :)

Jacey holding "Rosie" the tarantula. I don't know where this kid gets her guts from...certainly not me or her dad!!GIANT sweatball Jack...he spent the day jumping, jumping, and more jumping.
Sabrina, David, and Jacey braved the rock climbing wall in style. :)

Roberto carrying Micah around. They are buddies.

The girls got there hair done :). Sabrina is getting the "Princess Rock Star."

Roberto and Natasha
Roberto has his 'lobotomy face' on. He got it about 30 seconds after we walked in.
David
Jacey with the full on "Rock Star"

Blog to the future...ode to the 80's

2009-02-28T00:08:00.000-08:00

You grew up in the 80s if . . .

I did not write this I found it online, but man oh man can I RELATE!!!

1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word SIKE
2. You watched the Pound Puppies
3. You can sing the rap to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air and can do the Carlton Dance
4. Girls wore biker shorts under their skirts and felt stylishly sexy
5. You yearned to be a member of the Baby-sitters club and tried to start a club of your own.
6. You owned those lil' Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls
7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey on Blossom
8. Two words: Hammer Pants
9. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock"
10. You had plastic streamers on your handle bars... and spokey-dokes or playing cards on your spokes for that incredible sound effect
11. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales" (Woo ooh!)
12. It was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons
13. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head
14. You saw the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles on the big screen...and still know the turtles names
15. You got super-excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school
16. You made your mom buy one of those clips that would hold your shirt in a knot on the side
17. You played the game "MASH" (Mansion, Apartment, Shelter, House)
18. You wore stonewashed Jordache jean jackets and were proud of it
19. L.A. Gear....need I say more?
20. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in Kindergarten. (She's Truly Outrageous.)
21. You remember reading Tales of a fourth grade nothing and all The Ramona books
22. You know the profound meaning of "WAX ON, WAX OFF"
23. You wanted to be a Goonie
24. You ever wore fluorescent neon clothing (some of us...head-to-toe)
25. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off and his cheeks shifted
26. You have ever pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf
27. You took lunch boxes to school...and traded Garbage Pailkids in the schoolyard
28. You remember the CRAZE, then the BANNING of slap bracelets
29. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after every sentence
30. You remember Hypercolor t-shirts
31. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band
32. You thought She-ra (Princess of Power!) and He-Man should hook up.
33. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged handmade friendship bracelets.
34. You ever owned a pair of Jelly shoes.
35. After you saw Pee-Wee's Big Adventure you kept saying "I know you are, but what am I?"
36. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"
37. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates.
38. You ever got seriously injured on a Slip and Slide.
39. You have ever played with a Skip-It.
40. You had or attended a birthday party at McDonalds.
41. You've gone through this nodding your head in agreement.
42. You remember Popples
43. Don't worry, be happy
44. You wore like, EIGHT pairs of socks over tights with high top Reeboks.
45. You wore socks scrunched down (and sometimes still do..getting yelled at by younger hip members of the family)
46. You remember boom boxes and walking around with one on your shoulder like you were all that.
47. You remember watching both Gremlins movies.
48. You know what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare!!"
49. You remember watching Rainbow Bright and & My Little Pony Tales
50. You thought Doogie Howser/Samantha Micelli was hot
51. You remember Alf, the lil furry brown alien from Melmac
52. You remember New Kids on the Block when they were cool...and don't even flinch when people refer to them as "NKOTB"
53. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell," The ORIGINAL class
54. You know all the words to Bon Jovi - > YOU GIVE LOVE A BAD NAME
55. You just sang those words to yourself
56. You remember watching Magic vs. Bird
57. Homemade Levi shorts.. (the shorter the better)
58. You remember when mullets were cool!
59. You had a mullet!
60. You still sing "We are the World"
61. You tight rolled (pegged) your jeans
62. You owned a banana clip
63. You remember "Where's the Beef?"
64. You used to (and probably still do) say "What you talkin' 'bout Willis?
65. You had big hair and you knew how to use it
66. You're still singing shot through the heart in your head, aren't you!

a bump on a blog

2009-02-27T22:21:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so I had a lot on my to do list today...instead I decided to get my kids dressed up and take pictures. :) (Actually I dressed up two and undressed one because I wanted to document his irresistable chubbies!)

Blog-gone Cute

2009-02-25T00:26:00.001-08:00

My kids have been thrilled with the 65 degree weather this week. My daughter asked today if the WARTHOG saw it's shadow.
"The Warthog?" I asked
"Yeah mom, you know on Warthog's day???"

She would kill me if she knew I posted this. :)

Top 10 Reasons Why I Homeschool

2009-02-18T01:07:00.000-08:00

Somebody suggested I do this so here it goes! In no particular order.

10. I have always wanted my children to be individuals.

9. I believe in spontaneity and flexibility in education.

8. I want a very close family.

7. I don't want my kids to grow up too fast.

6. I don't want my kids out of the house for 8+ hours every day.

5. I love that my kids will be able to spend lots of time on the things that really excite them!

4. I feel like God asked me to and He has never let me down when I obeyed.

3. I don't want my kids labeled, held back, or rushed in their education.

2. Sleeping in

1. It is one of the most challenging things I have ever attempted and it is helping me become more patient, loving, and less self-absorbed. I always joked that I didn't have the gift of serving and God decided it was high time I developed it! In the same year he called me to homeschool and teach Sunday School every Sunday. When will I learn to stop saying "I will never..." to God! :)

What's the blog deal?

2009-02-04T09:50:00.000-08:00

I am sad today. My Jacky-boy has a loose tooth. It's so funny how my perspective changes with each child. With my oldest, Jacey, I was thrilled with each new milestone. Always so excited to see what she would do next. It was so amazing to see her do new things that she couldn't do before and to brag to anyone who would listen about her new feat! Now she is just old enough that I look back at pictures with regret. Wishing I could have that moment back and that I hadn't rushed her quite so much. I hate that I so often wish that I could have done things differently.

With Jackson it was much different. First he is a completely different person than Jacey. He let me know right off the bat that he was going to be calling the shots and I had to gently mold him to avoid wrath! My regrets from my first-born helped me to just let him be and laugh, rather than stress out about the next milestone. So now instead of a loose tooth being exciting, it is heart breaking. I know that a season is ending and I will never have it back. The days are fast approaching when the baby fat will fade, his smile will change, his chubby hands and feet which I love so much will become bigger and stronger. God forbid the day will come when he doesn't want to hug and kiss me and I am no longer the prettiest woman in his life. Don't get me wrong I know I will celebrate all the great things that happen to him and the man he will become, but it will hurt when I am not the one he wants to marry anymore. :)

This blog really did not have much of a purpose...just a mother's mourning. Probably not rational, but painful nonetheless!